An end

“And I will have the blueberry cheesecake please.” I beamed at the waiter. As soon as I entered the café one of the first things I noticed was the cheesecake gleaming, filled with cream, blueberry sauce and tiny blueberries on top of it. I had instantly made up my mind to taste that scrumptious desert before leaving. Could this day get any better? I smiled, I’m with my best friend, who is gracing me with her presence after ages (finally!), Disha and I have been best friends from 5 years! Our friendship has typically gone through quite a lot of phases (Like most of the long lasting friendships) and still stayed solid. The best thing about us is, when we meet every single time, it’s like we were never apart. Secrets come out pouring and emotions are all over the place until we have conversed about every small incident of our lives and I absolutely enjoy those hours that fly by with her.

“Cheese cake?!”Disha exclaimed, breaking me out of my reverie. “That has soo much fat!” her eyes were wide as saucers.

“I can eat as much as I want to, my metabolism is really high.” I grinned.

“Oh!”

“Yes! By the way, why didn’t you buy that blue top I chose for you? It looked so great on you.” I asked her. Earlier today both of us went shopping because she had to buy a new top for a dinner with her family and she refused to buy a fabulous blue top I picked.

“I hated it. I don’t like tight outfits you see.” She pointed out.

“But you looked fine!” I complained.

“Listen, I don’t like it because it makes me look fat!”

“But you didn’t look fat.” She didn’t.

“I did. Leave it now!” her face turned grim.

“Okay then, tell me stories! How is interior designing?” I changed the topic, expecting her to launch into one of her stories, but she just buried her face in her hands.

“Heyy???” I said waving my hands in front of her.

“What?” she said, peeking beneath her fingers.

“What happened, lady?” ok. Something isn’t right. I thought.

“Nothing, I’m just.. I’m just..” she paused. “Scared.”

“Scared of what!!!”

She took a deep breath. “Of losing the ability to connect with people.”

“Ohhhh..” I worried. “Is it with your interior designing friends? Are you having trouble connecting with them?” Disha and I were separated when she took interior designing and I started pursing computer science.

“Just people! Don’t ask me more.” She said rather curtly.

“Tell me Dishh! It’s okay.” I urged her, I couldn’t take it that she was sad over something. I felt a tug in my heart.

“No.” she said, giving a fake smile.

“It’s okay!!! It’s just me. Tell” I smiled at her, trying to make her feel comfortable.

“Don’t make me do this Radhika.” She warned, her expression turning grim.

Why is she warning me?

“Well, you have to tell me who aren’t able to connect with, I’m sure it’s one of those girls. Is it –?”

“It’s YOU!” She screamed, banging her hands on the table.

I flinched.

My hands instinctively flew up to cover my mouth. “Oh my god.” I whispered, shaken.

“I think you’ve changed Radhika.” She said quietly, as though I were a child.

“No. I haven’t.” I defended myself.

“Yes you have!” she countered without breaking eye contact. “It’s your behavior. The way you’re acting these days, it looks like you want to attract attention. The wrong kind I mean and I really can’t understand why you would try to act like this.” She shrugged and said it as a matter of fact.

“What are you saying Disha!!” I blinked and looked away taking the glass of water and sipping on it.

“What I am saying is what I’ve been watching Radhika!”

“What do you mean?” I said feebly.

“See, you can’t see this change in you, but I can. The way you’re dressing up these days and posting all those fancy pictures.” She jibed.

“What!” I couldn’t breathe suddenly. It was like an arrow just pierced my skin and with each word she uttered the arrow head dug deeper into my skin shattering the tender flesh to draw blood. It hurt and I closed my eyes tightly trying to absorb the pain away.

“It does give you the “attention seeker” vibe.” she declared looking away from me.

The wound dug deeper. I could feel something stuck in my throat and that made it impossible to speak, I did not say anything. There was a pause and she turned back to look at me.

“You take everyone by their face value Radhika. You only hangout with the cool crowd these days, right? We’re not cool enough for you, are we.” She mocked, her eyes had a cruel twist to it and I could see that this was an outburst of pent up rage. She went on and on but I stared into distance and my mind was numb the wound was too deep tearing my muscles, digging deeper, trying to find more purchase to hurt me. I couldn’t recognize her anymore, this spiteful girl was not my best friend, not the Disha I knew for so long and that’s when self-doubt crept into me, and I asked myself monstrous questions.

Did I seek the wrong kind of attention?

Do I take people for their face value?

Is my behavior different?

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know! I fidgeted with my hand and focused back to listen to her.

“—I don’t know if I can be the same with you anymore.” she finished giving me an ultimatum.

I wet my lips as tears pooled in my eyes threating to fall down my cheeks, it was at the very edge of my lashes when I quickly grabbed a tissue and dabbed at my eyes.

The waiter interrupted us at that moment and bought my cheesecake and her milkshake. I took my plate and stared at the cheesecake, all my earlier excitement to have the dessert was now gone. I had half mind to not eat it, but then decided to have it.  We finished the rest of our meal in silence, with just the sound of my spoon against the plate and her slurp of the milkshake.

We paid the bill and got up and took our sling bangs and walked out of the café. I turned to look at Disha and she kind of looked guilty but hid it well behind a fake smile.

“Okay, Radhika. I have to go.” she said.

“Bye.” I murmured.

“Bye” she said and gave me a half hug, there was no warmth in the half hug. She gave me another smile and turned away from my walking towards her car.

I looked at her as she walked away from me for 2 more seconds before turning away and walking towards my car. As I walked by glimpses of all the times we had spent together flashed through my mind right from the first time we met, her birthday, and the numerous surprises she had done for me and I was upset. Disha had been my constant for 5 years, what do I do now?

I sighed and looked up to see where I was going and a big board on the street caught my sight, It was a tagline for a brand and it made perfect sense for so many questions which haunted me. After reading this tagline, I understood. I understood everything clearly, and felt remorse. I looked up at it once again and read it aloud.

“Girls compete, women empower.”