You will know

I forced a smile and picked at my pizza trying to get a bite when all I wanted was to run away somewhere and stay alone.

I envisioned it.

A dark silent corridor on the 20^th floor of a building with a balcony overlooking the  ever bustling city, those lights which twinkled and blinked and blurred reality. Sitting alone with just my thoughts to accompany me and drown me in their flamboyant voices accompanied by their crude mockery at my naivety. Mind voices are like slow poisoning, they start lightly with no signs of destruction, slight insult here and there and build on. They go on and on, building the pressure until you reach your limit and then one word is all it takes to crumble you into a pile.

I sighed shutting my eyes tightly.

My throat felt heavy and my eyes fringed with tears.

Maya, just pull yourself together.

I wiped my eyes artfully without making it obvious and drank some water.

“..hahahahahaha, dude that’s just too funny.” Everyone burst out laughing around me as I recollected myself.

“Maya, what’s up with you?” Arjun nudged me, whispering softly so that only I could hear him.

I looked up at him sitting beside me, his eyes were concerned and his brows were furrowed.

“You know what it is, Aju!”

“So, stop thinking about it now! You’re just ruining your mood.”

“I know.” I paused. “But that’s all I can think about right now. I’m meeting him in 30 minutes and I’m nervous as hell! i’m afraid I’ll break down!”

I was.

The last thing I wanted was to meet Aryan and break down for the second time. I’ve had enough break downs already and for once, I wanted to be a strong woman and face reality.

“Arjun, I’m going to break it off with him.” Arjun’s eyes widened in shock.

“But Maya, I don’t see a reason why you should break up!”

“Don’t call it a break up. We never started in the first place for this to be a “break up”! We were just two individuals who enjoyed each other’s company and weird interests, and loved it. That is all.”

“Maya, don’t hasten this. You will know what to do when the time comes.”

“Will I?”

“Yes.” He nodded.

I nodded back and tried to complete my pizza but I couldn’t.

“Bro, can you have my slice of pizza too?” I asked Keerthi.

“Maya, why aren’t you having anything?” Trisha questioned.

“I don’t feel like. I’m just full!” I faked a smile.

From the past three days there has just been one thing on my mind.

I should let him go for my own good. It will hurt like shit, but I will do it.

The only thing that frightens me is telling him, I can’t see his face crumpling out of pure agony—

 

*beep*

Aryan: I’ll be there in 15minutes. Can’t wait to see you. X

 

Excellent, he’s coming 15 minutes earlier.

I gulped down water and looked around to find half my friends standing outside and clicking pictures, I got up and went outside.

Arjun was their photographer and everyone made him click several of their pictures in various different poses, he was comical, sitting in different positions to get the angle of the picture right.

Time passed soon enough and Aryan called.

“Hiiiiiiiiii.” he sounded excited.

“Hey. Where are you?”

“Around here!” he drawled.

Psst. “Where!!”

“Why are you frowning? Can you smile a little?” he teased.

“Where are yo—” I looked around and saw him walking towards me with his secret smile.

I stilled.

Poof. All my reasons flew out the window, vanishing and vaporizing into thin air.

The moment I saw him walking towards me everything else around me went out of picture. He looked at me with a single minded determination like I was the only thing he wanted to see and that was overwhelming. It is one thing to have a person look at you and completely another to have them look at you with all their focus and attention noticing each flaw and freckle of yours.

Even though there were so many people around me and along his path, his eyes didn’t waver and he walked straight up to me.

“Hey, honey bunny.” He whispered pulling me into a smothering hug.

Arjun was right, he said when the right moment comes along I will know what to do and I did.

I knew that I’m never letting go of Aryan because he was truly one in a million.

“Hiiiiiii” I whispered to his chest and looked up at him.

“I’ve missed you!” he complained.

“Me too.” I smiled, the most genuine smile these past three days.